Stuck on Friday

It started as a very bad Friday. 

Jesus’ death was horrible, grievous news to those who loved Him. He was going to save them. He was not supposed to die. Not like this. He didn’t deserve to die so young. 

He was mocked, spit on, and beaten. Think about mourning the violent death of your dearest friend, but One who never wronged you, who washed your feet, poured His life into you, and loved you with a perfect love. 

It is hard to imagine. 

On this side of the cross, we call today “Good Friday.” 

It was not so on that day. It was the worst day. 

The closest earthly thing I have to relate to how the disciples felt is how I felt the day my dad died and the days immediately following. Those hours were crushing, devastating. The sky turned black. I just wanted to pull the covers over my head. Forever.

I have come to a strange crossroads in the grief of losing my dad nearly three years later. The grief is ever-present, but I have more control over my emotions. 

At first, I felt like I was being dragged behind a locomotive, chained up, unable to break free, captive on a path leading me deeper into sadness. I could not steer it or stop it, and I became bloody, banged up, and broken on the journey. 

I find myself still thinking about my dad daily, but I now come to this confusing new intersection:

The road straight ahead is sunny with flowers and a blue sky. It’s Oz in technicolor, but with fleeting, happy remembrances of my dad. 

The perpendicular road to the left and right feels dark and cloudy. It is ominous grey with a swirling black tornado on the horizon. It is the reality of deep loss and pain. I know I must go there at some point to continue healing. 

I choose every day if I want to continue on moving straight ahead, or if I will allow myself to turn, taking me down a road of tears and suffering. 

Tough choice. 

I usually keep moving straight ahead, out of convenience (grief can be extremely inconvenient, among other things). 

But on Good Friday, when we remember the death of Jesus, I am forced to think about suffering. The tears flow fast and easy today. 

Tear-filled eyes often give the most clear sight. 

I know which road Jesus chose. He chose the suffering. He engraved me on the palms of His hands. 

In my loss, sometimes I feel like I am alone and stuck on Friday. Losing my dad still hurts. It often takes my breath away when I remind myself that he is gone. 

Friday melts me. 

The truth is that I am never alone in my grief. He bore my sadness! He carried my grief with Him to the cross. Bad Friday, in hindsight, became Good Friday because He took it all upon Him- our sin, our sadness, and death itself. 

“Surely he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows; yet we esteemed him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted. 
But he was pierced for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his wounds we are healed.” Isaiah 53:4-5

Jesus did not stay stuck on Friday. 

Sunday, He rose. 

Sunday gives HOPE. It brings peace. 

Sunday heals. 

The difficult truth is that healing is always superseded by pain. Healing is reserved solely for the people who have been hurt, cast out, beaten up, and pummeled.

The path to healing is always through pain, never around it. 

Don't stay stuck on Friday. 

In truth, I can’t always see Sunday.

I believe in faith and remind myself daily that Sunday is coming. I have the beautiful words in Scripture, and I believe every letter is true. We will be fully glorified and resurrected. We see in part now, but one day we will see fully. 

The Good News is Jesus died and is risen. He conquered death— this terrible thing that was not supposed to be— the consequence of our disobedience to God. Death. 

Death crushes our hearts. But for the follower of Jesus, it has no sting, no victory. 

My resurrected Lord, Jesus Christ, is my only comfort in life and in death. 

CS Lewis said, “Look for yourself, and you will find in the long run only hatred, loneliness, despair, rage, ruin, and decay. But look for Christ, and you will find Him, and with Him, everything else.” 

I know this to be true. 

Jesus is the fulfillment of every prophecy. He is the Redeemer, the Passover Lamb, slain for us. Our Savior. 

Look for Jesus today. Seek Him with all your heart and you will find Him. 

Not on the cross or in the tomb, for He is risen. 

Sunday is coming for all of us who trust in Christ. 

He is risen, indeed.

Isaiah 53:

Who has believed what he has heard from us?1

And to whom has the arm of the Lord been revealed?

2  For he grew up before him like a young plant,

and like a root out of dry ground;

he had no form or majesty that we should look at him,

and no beauty that we should desire him.

3  He was despised and rejected2 by men;

a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief;

and as one from whom men hide their faces

he was despised, and we esteemed him not.

4  Surely he has borne our griefs

and carried our sorrows;

yet we esteemed him stricken,

mitten by God, and afflicted.

5  But he was pierced for our transgressions;

he was crushed for our iniquities;

upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace,

and with his wounds we are healed.

6  All we like sheep have gone astray;

we have turned—every one—to his own way;

and the Lord has laid on him

the iniquity of us all.

7  He was oppressed, and he was afflicted,

yet he opened not his mouth;

like a lamb that is led to the slaughter,

and like a sheep that before its shearers is silent,

so he opened not his mouth.

8  By oppression and judgment he was taken away;

and as for his generation, who considered

that he was cut off out of the land of the living,

stricken for the transgression of my people?

9  And they made his grave with the wicked

and with a rich man in his death,

although he had done no violence,

and there was no deceit in his mouth.

10  Yet it was the will of the Lord to crush him;

he has put him to grief;

when his soul makes an offering for guilt,

he shall see his offspring; he shall prolong his days;

the will of the Lord shall prosper in his hand.

11  Out of the anguish of his soul he shall see and be satisfied;

by his knowledge shall the righteous one, my servant,

make many to be accounted righteous,

and he shall bear their iniquities.

12  Therefore I will divide him a portion with the many,

and he shall divide the spoil with the strong,

because he poured out his soul to death

and was numbered with the transgressors;

yet he bore the sin of many,

and makes intercession for the transgressors.