Presence of God

I have been thinking a lot about the presence of God. Still. I feel it differently now. I used to experience it as though seeing the form of a person, a shadow really, in a window of a house across a great field. This last month, I have trampled through the field, stumbling, sweating, thirsty…and I find myself on the front porch. I have climbed the steps. The outline of the person is the same. I cannot see His features. Although I can hear the faint whisper of His voice through the door, I can’t always make out the words. But I am near. I am on the threshold of being with Him. All around me are the evidences of His hands. The fresh paint on the floor, the roof overhead, the manicured garden of corn and squash. The porch swing. The pots of hydrangea (because those are my favorites). He is with me. I am with Him. I am at peace, and I have ALL that I need. I think this is all of us as believers. At first we are far off, and now we are brought near. We see dimly in a mirror, but then we will see fully. We will see face to face. Our faith will be sight. One day, if we have trusted Christ, we will be inside that house. We will live there and we will dine with Him. Forever.

But what about when we are in the darkness? Is God still there? Has He left? I was looking at the end of Matthew, at Jesus’ last words. So picture this: Jesus is about to ascend into heaven. He is about to leave earth, to finish his 33 year long ministry. He is choosing His last words. He gives His disciples the Great Commission. He could have said anything. He could have said, “I love you.” He could have said, “I will provide for you.” He could have said “I am good. You can trust Me.” Or “Peace out!!” or a million other things. And what does He say? He says “I am WITH YOU ALWAYS, even to the end of the age.” WOW. And by saying that, He basically said all of those other things. What He is saying is—My presence is enough. This life will not be easy. It will be hard. You will suffer. You will be sad. But I am WITH You.

I think about that song I sang in youth group—“I wanna walk in the light as He is in the light.” You know you used to rock out to that, too (and may I say, I am so glad we did not have YouTube in the 80’s- Kristen Beck King, we would have owned that). Anyway, we know He is in the light. Jesus is the Light of the whole world. There will not even be a lamp in heaven, because, guess what? GOD IS THE LIGHT. I can’t even fathom that. And then I am wondering, well where is He in the dark moments? Where is He in the mascara cheeked, snotty pillowed, shoulders ache from sobbing, all I want is a hug from my dad, grief stricken darkness?

And then I read Exodus 20:21. And it says, “Moses approached the thick (wait for it) DARKNESS where GOD WAS,” and I stop short of my wondering. God IS there. Before the foundations of the world, God moved over the surface of the deep, IN THE DARKNESS (Genesis 1:2). He is IN the darkness, too. He has not left. He is just as present. And He will never leave. He is tirelessly at work redeeming all of the darkness. The suffering part is the same-- we will suffer here just as Christ suffered here, in order to be like Him in His suffering. But He is redeeming ALL of it. Beauty for ashes. Praise for heaviness. Joy for pain. Hope for sorrow. And the very best part, life for death.
Can I get an Amen?